You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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