So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Operation Purity has been aborted
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
