You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
