What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
