I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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