oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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