I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
