i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
