I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
