one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
