why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
