I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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