Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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