Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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