Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
