This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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