I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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