i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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