Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
