as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
A+ Viking dick
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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