yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The struggles of a small town man whore
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