Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
