I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
