not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
