He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Randomize
