So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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