Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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