I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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