I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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