she was so not down for the gang bang
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
