I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
