Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
