i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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