matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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