I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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