I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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