No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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