I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
