i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have fence marks all over my body
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
