Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
