i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
