there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
