Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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