WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
