I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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