I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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