Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
