Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
