please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
