He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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